Saturday, November 19, 2011

Working Parents

Up until this past year, I have always wanted to be a successful working woman.  I didn't think that working while having children was a big deal or would have a negative effect on my children.  After taking several different classes at BYU-Idaho, I have realized that being a mother and working at the same time is not a the best idea. 
Both my parents worked all my years of growing up.  My dad did a good job of being with the family and not letting work take over but my mom seemed to kind of forget about the family and instead, totally focused on her work.  It was difficult not having my mom around as a child.  At a very young age, I had to learn how to take care of myself, cook, clean the house and care for my sisters.  I took the role of the mom amongst my sisters and cared a lot for them.  This was hard on me when I was younger because for some reason, I felt like I had to take on a lot of responsibility.  My sister's and I didn't go to daycare, so we were at home by ourselves a lot.  We had babysitters for a while but eventually, we didn't need that anymore.  Since we were at home a lot of the time, we had to figure out how to do a lot on our own.  I look back and wish that my mom didn't work because I would have felt a lot more safe, secure and dependent.  Since I took care of myself a lot, I have become a very independent person which has effected my relationships.  I don't like to rely on other people to help me out, I like to do things for myself.  This is detrimental because in a marriage, you are totally dependent on someone else and everything involves around the both of you and not just one of you and this is going to be very hard for me to get used to.  I also struggle with getting really close to people because I fear that they will stop caring and will leave and I know that this roots back to not having my mom around.  I think that when mother's have a full-time job outside of the home, they don't have the time to nurture and care for their children.  It's so important to be their for your children in their growing stages and if you aren't there, it will affect them greatly. 
I'm glad that we talked about this subject matter in Family Relations because even more so, I have decided that I definitely want to be there for my children and want to be a full-time mom.  Children need a mom in their lives and need to feel like they can completely rely on someone to be there for them.  My biggest hope is that I can be that kind of mom in the future.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Staying Positive

Every family goes through many different crisis that can either have negative affects on the family or positive affects.  In class this week we talked about how to deal with crisis within your family and how they affect your family.  Recently, my Dad has been diagnosed with cancer.  This has been very tough for everyone in our family and has effected our roles within the family.  My dad has played the role of both mom and dad in our family but while he has been dealing with cancer, he hasn't been able to fulfill those roles as well.  My sisters and I have all helped to fill in for those roles and it has had a big impact on us.  Although this has been hard on all of us, we have been able to keep a positive attitude.
In class, we talked about how to deal with crisis. A crisis within a family is bound to happen, so you have to be prepared for it.  How you deal with a crisis determines the outcome of the crisis.  My family and I could chose to be negative about my dad's cancer and chose to constantly be sad about it but my dad has taught us that that won't help improve the situation at all.  By staying positive, we know that we can handle whatever hardships come from his cancer and know that we will be able to get through whatever happens.  Attitude has so much to do with the outcome of crisis.  I believe that if you dwell on the fact that you are going through a hard time, it's going to make it even harder.  In order to progress in life, you have to stay positive.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


This week in class, we talked about the type of friendships that you should have once you are married.  I have never really thought this much into detail about this subject but am so glad that we talked about it in class.  I now I have an understanding of what I should and shoudn't be doing. 

When you are married, it could be detrimental to have a relationship with someone (other than your spouse) where you share very personal information about yourself with.  Having such a tight bond with someone else could cause many problems.  One of the problems is that it may seem like the "friend" that you are so close to understands you better than your spouse, listens more closely to your problems and cares about you more.  Having such a close friend is what usually leads to an affair.  Another problem is, if a spouse is has a really tight bond with someone outside of the marriage, it causes them to give their spouse less attention.  It also causes the spouse to not talk to their spouse about their deepest feelings because they are already talking to a friend and don't feel the need to talk to more about it. Once you are married, your best friend should be your spouse.  Your spouse should be the one that you confide in, vent to, trust and tell all of your problems and feelings to.  Sharing all of that with someone else could eventually lead to an affair. 

Knowing the keys to a successful marriage are very important.  Even wonderful people are very prone to falling into the temptation of having an affair.  You have to keep yourself away from the things that may lead you to cheat on your spouse whether it is sexually or emotionally, both cause great pain in a marriage.  Staying away from close relationships with people other than your spouse is one of the key points to keeping your marriage healthy and having the best relationship with your spouse as possible.